Back to running, blogging, and Weight Watchers

It's hard to feel like you're starting over.  I've been back at Weight Watchers for 4 weeks and back to running for about 6 weeks.  I've been struggling thinking about running ability that I've lost and weight that I've gained back.

When I weighed in today, I tried to be positive (in my head) about the weight I lost and not think about straying so far from goal. Jean (our fabulous leader) said "Did you know you're down 39lbs?!"  I didn't know that. I never looked at the total weight lost from my initial weigh in. It really put everything in perspective.

This week (and beyond) I'm hoping to focus on my progress. I find that when I'm running, I'm thinking about what I was able to do last year or the year before.  I worry about not being able to run as long or as fast as I used to. I should really focus on how far I've come in the last 6 weeks.  I'm able to run longer, faster, and farther.

I'm down 39.2lbs from my highest and I can run twice as far as I could 6 weeks ago.

I have no justification for this picture. 

Ok, fine.

One week left! AH!!!!

Alright- Here we go.

I've been kind of stubborn about this.  I made it to lifetime with Weight Watchers a couple of years ago.  Buuuuuut, I'm up. I kept thinking that I would just do it on my own because I didn't want to have to pay.  It was less the money and more feeling a bit like a failure.  I just got to relaxed with tracking and choices, plus had a little wrench thrown in called hypothyroidism.  Now that that's under control, I need to get back to good habits.  I know I can do it.  I've done it before!  I'm putting this out there because blogging helped me get to lifetime and I know it can help me get back to goal.  There's no shame in needing a little help!  Unfortunately, there were no meetings close by today, but I'm tracking and I can go back to Jean, my favorite leader, Thursday or Friday morning.  Let's do this!

Here we go again...

I need to be honest... I've been pretty terrible about tracking and sticking to Weight Watchers for a while.  Ok, more than a while.  I hit goal and lifetime in the spring of 2012 and I didn't hang out there all that long.  Maybe through the summer and some of the fall? 

I definitely have a lot of excuses I could throw out.  At least one of them is even valid!  I did discover that I have a thyroid problem a few months ago.  I noticed that even while I was training for the marathon last year that I was gaining weight no matter what I did.  I was definitely eating more, but I tried to keep it to healthy choices and it didn't seem to matter.  Once I realized that, I admit I kind of gave up and didn't try as hard because it didn't seem to matter anyhow.

After maybe a year or so of this happening, I went to the doctor for some neck swelling and she discovered my hypothyroidism.  It was totally a relief to find out there was an actual problem that explained the weight gain and other symptoms, but I have absolutely revisited some terrible habits that are (again) hard to let go of. 

I've been back to some meetings, but not as consistently as I should.  I'm tracking more often, but not often enough.  It's been a stressful couple of weeks and I certainly have been medicating with bad food choices. 

So here I am... admitting it out in the open hoping that this will be the kick in the ass I need.  I know I can do lose the weight because I did it before.  Get ready for some possible weight loss status updates?  Maybe they will just be limited to the blog?  We'll see. 

Updates!

Oh, hey!

It's been a long time.  Since the last time I blogged, I finished up my long training runs (missed the 20 because of injuries and a bad cold), ran in the marathon, and ran a half marathon.  I plan on writing separate blogs about the Boston Marathon and about the Run to Remember (half).

So here's what's new... since I last blogged, two shows opened and closed (A New Brain with Moonbox productions and Legally Blonde with NextDoor Theatre), I've been cast in three shows (Fiddler on the Roof as Fruma Sarah with Reagle Music Theatre, A Little Princess as Miss Amelia with Fiddlehead Theatre, and Company as Amy with Moonbox).  I started teaching a new club- Shad Hall at Harvard Business School, plus I'm still at the North Suburban YMCA and Today's Fitness.

A New Brain.  Just a typical day. Tutu,
spinning plates, dude dressed as a frog in a blazer.

Ok. I have to admit, I've been struggling with tracking and staying on plan food-wise.  It's not hard. I know it's not hard.  I've done it before, I'm just having some trouble.  I've put some weight back on, and it's coming back in different places than it used to!  This ends. Now. Seriously.  I know I need to get back to meetings and that will help a ton.  I keep thinking back to what one of our meeting members in Woburn said about becoming lifetime and staying at goal.  Once you hit lifetime, you only have to weigh in once a month, but Frank said he goes every week and weighs in because otherwise, you're just "playing games with the scale".  He's totally right.
I was on plan yesterday, and I'm on track today!  I'm going to go to a meeting this Friday in Burlington with my favorite leader from the now closed Woburn location.

To inspire myself, I bought a new cookbook, Appetite for Reduction: 125 Low Fast and Filling Low-Fat Vegan Recipes by Isa Chandra Moskowitz. Last night, I made:

I promise, I'm wearing shorts.

 Delicious!  Toasted cumin seeds will soon make their way into other things I cook.  Also, I made way too much quinoa, so there will be a lot of quinoa dishes this week...

I tried a hot yoga class yesterday!  I was the first one to sweat. Like... before class started, already sweating.  I'm going to add it to my routine.

I'm also training to teach Insanity this weekend!  I'm terrified.

I'm a terrible blogger

Yes, I'm a terrible blogger.  I never update and I haven't really told anyone that I have a blog.

So- on the Weight Watchers front, I'm very close to goal. I'm 1.2lbs away. I have to admit that I TOTALLY cheat and weigh myself every morning. I was at goal yesterday, and today I'm up 3.4lbs.  I know this is why they say that you shouldn't weigh yourself every morning.  Eh. 

I've never been so close to the Weight Watchers goal range before. I'm not totally sure how to feel about it.  It's a strange place to be because I know it's not my personal goal, but it's still a big accomplishment.  I mean, I totally look forward to not paying them six weeks after I get to goal (don't judge me), but  I don't know what my personal goal is just yet.  I feel like sometimes 10lbs lost doesn't make a huge difference, and then 5lbs lost looks like 30lbs, so I'm not sure of a final goal weight.  I always thought I would just kind of "know" when I was there, but honestly, I'm a little afraid that maybe I won't know.

In other news, I made a hasty decision.  I'm running a half marathon May 27th. What? Yes.  A high school friend (who, I think I haven't seen in person since then? We may have only had social media contact for a while) noticed a tweet via dailymile about running and one thing led to another and now I'm joining her in the Boston Run to Remember.  She said the magic words "very flat course".  Also, she assures me that she is also not a really fast runner.  I like having something to work towards (not that being fit and healthy is not something to work for) because then I'm less likely to miss a run. I think of getting stronger and more fit with each mile and I try to think about how that will benefit me come May 27th.

Other than that- I'm super excited to be rehearsing for The Full Monty in Stoneham!  Fabulous cast and creative team and such a great show.  

Oh, and I got new head shots. Pat Piasecki is a genius and has luckily chosen to use his powers for good.  

I'm not good at updates.

Ok, so I haven't felt super inspired to write, but great things are happening.  I've lost 79.2lbs (!) and I set my Weight Watchers goal weight. I've never set a goal there before.  I'm only 6.8lbs away from my WW goal, but I have a feeling I will want to keep losing (not in an unhealthy way, of course).  I'm really excited that I'm so close, but it doesn't really feel real yet.

I've taken the Zumba training again and after I take CPR on Wednesday, I'll be ready to teach again!  I've really missed teaching and taking the fabulous ZES Ann Saldi's class again really inspired me! I'll be subbing at her studio (Vavavoom Dance) and hopefully picking up my own class eventually!  I'm also looking around to get on more sub lists and maybe picking up a couple classes at other clubs.

I've really been trying to step up my work outs. I am at a point where I truly enjoy going to classes and running again, but I also hate feeling like I'm wasting my time.  I've added weight gloves to Body Combat. I'm not going to lie, I feel like a bad ass wearing them in class. That is, I feel like a bad ass until I do a side kick and lose my balance for a second.

The Spin for Hope is in one week.  Three hours on a Spin bike next Sunday. I'm not worried about the amount of working out, but I am concerned for my butt.

Ok, here's the crazy thing I decided. I'm going to do Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge next January in Disney World. It's a half marathon on Saturday and a full marathon on Sunday. I got a sign last night when our friend Josh invited us to Disney for that exact weekend. I've ALWAYS wanted to run that (those?) race(s).  I've put all of my training IN my calendar for the next 46 weeks and I just have to keep my eyes open for the registration.  I'm going to run as much of it as I can, but the pace requirement is only a 15 minute mile, so walking won't be the worst thing ever. I can do this.

Celebrating responsibly

My show opened this past Thursday to some wonderful audiences and compliments! It's called I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change.  It's a musical that contains various vignettes about dating and relationships.  It's a lot of fun, a lot of costume changes, and I have to be in a slip in front of everyone.  Eh.  I also have about 10 seconds to run off stage with a folding chair, take off my dress, slip, and shoes, and then throw on a wedding dress, veil, and new shoes without looking in a mirror.

Kevin and I in "Stud and a Babe"

 Because of the wonderful support form the community in Lynn (www.artsafterhours.com), the cast and crew have been going out after the shows to support local businesses that support the theater.  Thursday, we went to Cirque (47 Central) for some karaoke (and an amazing dirty Sapphire martini).  So much fun!  Luckily, I had the points for the martini and a beer. Ok, two.  I ALSO had a hangover the next day.

Kevin and I in the Finale

I was a bit concerned Friday because I felt pretty yucky.  I didn't make it to the gym.  I let myself have a break, but was a worried that this might lead to more breaks.
Friday night after the show- Turbine Wine Bar for a glass of (COUNTED!) wine and some music and then we headed to Tatiana's when some people wanted food (not me).  I kept in mind that I'd signed up for Spin 7:30 Saturday morning and switched to diet coke.


Saturday morning.... 6:45 I was wide awake- five minutes before my alarm.  I had set out my clothes, so I just rolled out of bed, threw them on, put my hair up, washed my face and drove to the gym.  I was pretty tired, but it was a great class!  I even packed a banana so I could eat during the half hour between Spin and BodyPump.

PROOF!

I even added some weight to my squats, back, triceps, and shoulders, bitches!

Saturday night- we went out to Northern Nights in Lynn- SO much fun.  They kept the kitchen open for us!  I had another amazing (counted) dirty Sapphire martini (I earned a TON of points) and danced most of the night (more APs!)


I really just need to remember weekends like this when I'm feeling down or like I want to quit the program.  I had a ton of fun and didn't feel like I was sacrificing anything.  :)  BELIEVE

Plateaus...?

This is my sixth week back on plan going to Weight Watchers meetings.  I'm very happy with my progress so far, but this is when it starts to slow down a bit for me.  As long as there is a loss, I know I shouldn't complain. And I know that losing at a slow and steady pace is better, but wow I'm impatient.

I want to concentrate on making positive changes and not slipping back into old ways instead of concentrating on the number on the scale.

I've been doing Weight Watchers on and off for a very long time... maybe 10 years or so?  I am going to make sure I measure everything I eat and cook.  I can probably estimate a cup of something by eyeing it, but I am going measure when I can (at restaurants, sometimes you have to give it your best guess) and that means EVERYTHING at home.

Get to the gym. I have the time, I have the membership.  I went six days last week. That exceeded my goal of five days and it was great!  I tried a new class- Total Body conditioning.  I am totally a Les Mills BobyPump fan, but while I'm in a show, I can't make it to the Thursday night class, and my goal right now is to get three days of a full body weight work out in every week.  It was great to switch up the routine!  SO many squats... I also made it to a super popular Saturday morning Spin class.  I signed up 8 minutes after the online reservations started and was put on the waiting list. Yep. Luckily, I got bumped up.  Getting a spot was motivation to get up early on Saturday and head in.  So glad I did.

I've restarted a 5K running program.  I have an iPhone app that I'm pretty sure used to be the C25K, but changed to "Ease into 5K".  It gets the job done.  This time, I'm pledge to do each workout.  In the past, I've skipped weeks or stopped part way through and then just started running as long as I could a slower speed.  I really want to build up to a better speed this time, so I'm pushing myself to run faster than I'm used to on the running intervals.

I'm trying to avoid sleeping in so I can get to the gym in the morning and then eat breakfast.  It's bad to skip and sleeping in feels like such a waste of a day.  I guess I should also try to get to bed earlier...

I want to try a new recipe every week.  Or a new ingredient.  Last year when I went vegan, I did this and discovered some amazing new healthy food.  This week, I think I'm going with a Lentil Soup from The Kind Diet (links to blog).  Also- my local Market Basket (while I still find it to be hell on earth to get through) has some pretty amazing produce.  Last week, I got Shanghai Tips (they're sort of like tiny baby bok choy) and Thai Chili (dear god, they are effing hot). Oh, also lotus roots- still need to do something with those.

Oh- as always- I need to make sure I drink more water.



I'm hoping these things motivate me to keep going and stay positive!  Also- I need to take more pictures for this blog. You know, the one that no one knows about.

A million dollars?

Ok. Yeah. May. I see it, too. Last time I posted.

So, this summer has been rough for me and food and the gym.  I've had good days and even good weeks, but the bad days and weeks seem to even it all out.  I've lost and gained the same 7lbs for months.  It ends now. Or. Yesterday. Technically. Seriously this time.

I guess I don't understand where my motivation goes sometimes.  Weight Watchers is a wonderful program. It's not difficult to follow. You can literally eat whatever you want as long as you plan for it.  I think part of me gets angry that I have to worry about it at all. I know I feel better when I'm on plan. I know I feel 100% better than that when I go to the gym.  I know that I'll get more work if I lose weight (as an actor).  Yeah, I think I just get mad that it's something that I have to worry about at all.

So, I thought maybe I'd use the new season of The Biggest Loser to motivate me (don't judge my reality show watching).  I changed my weigh in day to Wednesday (because that is when I will most likely watch my DVR'd episode every week) and hoped that it would help.  Wednesday last week started off awesome.  I went to the gym and ate well.  Thursday-Monday... less awesome.  Not horrible.  I think it involved some vegan pizza and some guacamole... possibly some dark chocolate... beer...  Again- all of these things would have been FINE if I just COUNTED them.

So there I was on Monday. Ready to start over again. Sort of. I had had some Nyquil the night before and I kicked. my. butt.  So, yeah.  I think I had some pita chips and some plain pasta that day. (Oh, by the way, I had a terrible cold, it wasn't recreational Nyquil)  So, I knew I had to get back to it, but I wasn't feeling super motivated.  I needed a sign. Ugh, I just decided to watch TV.  Aaaaaaaand sign- Dr. Oz is pairing up with Weight Watchers to do this Transformation Nation Million Dollar You contest. Hm.  I need to lose weight... I'm a Weight Watchers online member... I've done it before... I don't expect to win a million dollars, but what the hell.

I went to my local Weight Watchers location yesterday and had my official complimentary weigh in and started to fill out all of the online forms.  Someone's got to win, right? And regardless (irregardless. Oh God. Spell check didn't fix that. WHYYYYYYYY????), I'll lose weight.  So that's still kind of winning something.

After weighing in, I went grocery shopping for lots of produce and dried beans (I'm trying this again. I have some weird inability to prepare beans from their dried state.  Before I went vegan, I had a similar problem preparing bacon. Just can't do it. Not sure why.)  I tracked all of my food and ended up 2 points under (not on purpose).

Today- I tracked all of my food.   (still deciding if it would be useful/interesting enough to post what I eat?) and made it to the gym.  I went to Body Combat.  I love it. It kicks my ass.  I usually would do strength training as well, but it's been so long that this was about what I could do today.  I love Body Combat and shadow/kick boxing so much, that I'm debating joining a boxing gym when my current contract is up.

So here I am at the end of day two feeling optimistic.  I had enough points left over for a pumpkin beer.  See.  Awesome program.